HOW IT WORKS
“Teach them correct principles they govern themselves”
(Messages of the First Presidency, comp. James R. Clark, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 3:54.)
Some of you will not like my approach to “Porn Proof” kids. Over the years you may have had concepts “spoon fed” or “spelled out” in great detail for you. I have too much confidence in your inspired role as a parent and grandparent to interfere with God’s best delivery system-YOU! I will give you simple guidelines on how to use Boosters as you inoculate against porn addiction.
Consider yourself the nurse or doctor that must administer the actual immunization – booster. I cannot do that for you. I don’t even know where you live.
An Inspired Parent is the foundation upon which Porn Proofing Kids is built. If you do not have the time and motivation as a parent to inoculate your child … STOP NOW!
And begin saving money … I (and other professionals) will gladly take your money for payment of my (our) services after your child / grandchild has fallen off the cliff of addiction. Currently a therapist is about $100 per hour.
If you can take the time and have the motivation to immunize your child against porn… START NOW! And learn about the essential Boosters to build Healthy Sexuality. An inspired parent is a parent who fasts, prays, and ponders his/her responsibilities in administering these boosters to each child. It’s not uncommon for each child to require his/her own unique inoculation regime.
There is no greater force to strengthen the immunization of a child than their father or mother obtaining help from the Lord.
The Lord has placed on you as a parent the primary responsibility to teach your children. Though this is a great responsibility, it is also a divine privilege to have Heavenly Father’s children entrusted to your care. One of the most important concepts that the Lord expects you to teach your children is the righteous meaning and use of intimate physical relations between a man and a woman (sexual relations). (A Parent’s Guide, 1985, LDS.org)
Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Boosters are administered in any order, with different dosages and frequency. In today’s world a 10 year old who had just been molested by an older cousin may need some very detailed information about the Boosters: Bodies and Good and Evil. On the other hand a teen who has no interest in video games, TV, or smartphones has no need for a Screen Time Booster. Generally, your child should receive at least one of the five Boosters each day! For example, one day after “Gay Marriage” is legalized in your state, you may need a frequent and high dose of the Gender Booster. On another day, a single small dose of the Good and Evil Booster is sufficient.
“Our children learn when they are ready to learn, not just when we are ready to teach them.“
(It’s Never Too Early and It’s Never Too Late, Bradley D. Foster, October 2015 Conference)
Caution: Too many boosters with too much information (too high of a dose)- can sexualize and overwhelm your child. For example, you could create an unnatural interest in sex too early. However, too few boosters with not enough content (too low a dose) fails to provide sufficient immunity to effectively deal with the pornography plague. Like Ebola, Satan’s misuse of God’s sexual response can kill you-spiritually.
Common sense and an inspired parent can discern when and how much is required.
START YOUNG AND NEVER STOP
Sexual messaging is everywhere…even Church. Just last Sunday my wife commented about a teen in our ward wearing a dress so short “you could see her butt.” Be prepared to administer a Booster to a toddler as well as a young adult. Boosters are administered most frequently with “words”. Be alert to sexual messaging on tv, video games, radio, music, billboards, advertising, Internet, etc etc -Pause the tv, video game, the conversation etc etc and deliver the Booster by asking a question–What did they just say? Followed by What do you think that means? Or think of your own questions.
Common sense and an inspired parent can discern how a booster is administered.
BOOSTERS CAN HURT
Remember the old concept of “boosters?” You go to the doctors, expose your butt cheek, the nurse says this is going to hurt, and you get the shot. The shot hurts. How many of your kids want shots? Boosters? Exactly NONE! Many times this is true for administering Porn Proofing Boosters. Your children may NOT want to talk about it. Or become oppositional to receiving your booster etc etc – Doesn’t matter. They need the boosters. (Be careful you do not become preachy and churchy in the delivery of a Booster.)
Common sense and an inspired clever parent can administer a booster even when the child is resistant.
Typically “Words” are the “syringes” used to inject the Booster. (Others are delivered by your example.) If you’re not asking questions and teaching you are not immunizing your child. The most powerful way to create a Booster Discussion is by “taking their temperature” asking clever questions. If you have difficulty doing this, consider the fact that you may have some personal issues to work through. You will have to learn to do hard things if you are to successfully inoculate your child.
TAKE THEIR TEMPERATURE OFTEN
How else will you know if they’re sick?
Questions are the best thermometer.
- First: ASK -WHAT…..? Identify a sexual message from TV, print, billboard, music, video game, cereal box, news, etc etc. Ask a what question like “What did that message just say?” “What do you think that message means?” You may add other questions like “Why… would they be saying that?” or “Where … did you learn that?”
- Second: SAY NOTHING (That’s right shut-up): LISTEN with the intent to discern which Booster and how strong of Booster Dose your child may require-usually at a later time.
- Third: TEACH. Deliver the Booster. Perhaps right then and there, perhaps next week in Family Home Evening Lesson, Perhaps in a personal interview with your child.
Common sense and an inspired parent can use inspired questions and words in delivering a booster.
EXAMPLE OF NOT FOLLOWING BOOSTER DIRECTIONS
PERFECT PORN PROOFING PROCESS
- Identifies an inspired parent as the primary delivery system.
- Relies on “God’s Truth” about gender and sexuality.
- Includes current scientific research about sexual related topics.
- Is comprehensive in identifying the necessary and sufficient “skills and knowledge“.
- Provides a simple, practical, and flexible curriculum that a average parent can teach.
- Focuses on the glory and beauty of virtue not the hell and ugliness of porn addiction.
Oh yea, one more observation.
“Porn Proofing Kids” is a focused approach. It does not include ALL general parenting skills. For example, there are some parenting skills essential for good parenting and yet not discussed in the Porn Proofing Curriculum. Here are some examples.
- Ability to teach. I assume you are a capable parent doing your best at parenting/grand parenting. If you are not go find some resources like: A Parent’s Guide Chapter 2: Principles for Teaching Children.
- Testimony of the Gospel. I assume you are Latter-day Saint doing your best at returning home to Christ. If you are not go find some resources like: How Do I Gain A Testimony or Gaining a Testimony of God the Father; His Son, Jesus Christ; and the Holy Ghost.
- Ability to communicate with your children. I assume you are doing your best at talking to your children and getting them to talk to you. If you and your child cannot talk about school, church and friends you are not ready to talk to them about sexual relations. If you cannot talk to your kids, go find some resources like: Can Your Child Really Talk To You; or Family Conversations: Talking About Healthy Sexuality
Here is a sample of some of the resources I’ve reviewed:
- Talking To Youth About Pornography, Dan Gray, Ensign July 2007
- Help You or a Loved One Overcome Overcome a Porn Addiction LDS.org
- Talking With Your Children About Moral Purity. Ensign December 1986
- A Parent’s Guide, LDS.org
- The Trap-A story to help teach children modesty and protect them from pornography. Karmel Newell
- So Sexy So Soon: The new sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids. Dr. Levin and Dr. Bourne
- Media Literacy in the K-12 Classroom. Fank W. Baker
- Family Conversations: Talking About Healthy Sexuality Mormon Channel
- Talking About Sex and Puberty and What to Teach About Sex Focus on the Family
The resources currently available fall short of the Perfect Porn Proofing Process.
The Porn Proofing Kids’ boosters target sexual and other inappropriate behaviors. It is expected that parents would continue in wholesome spiritual, physical and family activities activities. Using our medical analogy, Boosters do not replace healthy nutrition, restful sleep, vitamins etc.
(C) 2014 Dr. Rick